He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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