Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
