brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well you can't waste a boner
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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