Only a mothe r could love this liver
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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