I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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