he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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