I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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