at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
