it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
