You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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