You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
