i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This is my gift to your gina
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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