and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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