my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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