Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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