i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
