Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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