We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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