oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
