All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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