i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Houston, we have a squirter
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
