His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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