but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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