Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
