well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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