mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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