He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
