Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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