i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
