Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
