I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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