Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
