I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
