when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
