I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Someone shattered a urinal.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
