4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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