She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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