What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
