All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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