I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
