Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
