I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
