Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
