Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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