it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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