I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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