i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
