; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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