Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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