Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
