who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
