shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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