so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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