I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
