when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
