When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
