Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
