The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
